Part 2: Tips for Having the "Long-Term Care" Discussion with Your Parents

Having the long-term care discussion with your parents is not easy. In the last blog, I shared several strategies for getting the discussion going. Here are a few more:

• Write - Write a letter or an email outlining your concerns and what you would like to discuss. This can be particularly helpful if you live far away and only have a weekend to have this talks. You can pave the way and get them to start thinking about it before you get together.
• Get Help - Maybe you have a sibling who is more at ease talking with your parents. Maybe your parents are more comfortable talking to someone else in the family about finances or health. Don't be offended. You don't care how the plan gets developed, just that it DOES get developed.
• Suggest - That they peruse or read my book, How to Plan for Long-Term Care. Email me at info@superiorltc.com to receive a complimentary copy of the E-book version.

It really doesn't matter what strategy you use, as long as it results in a productive discussion about their plan for paying for long-term care.

Part 1: Tips for Having the "Long-Term Care" Discussion with Your Parents

Fortunately, grown children and their parents are finally beginning to feel comfortable having the "long-term care conversation." How you enter this terrain will depend on the relationship you have with your parents.

You may not get far in your first conversation. It's a lot to digest, particularly if your parents have avoided this subject. Be patient. Find what works for you. If one approach doesn't work, try another. To get started, here are a few ways to break the ice:

• Be Open - If you have an open and direct relationship, don't beat around the bush. Just come out and tell them that you'd like to talk about their plan for paying for long-term care.
• Be Reflective - Ask them about their past, their childhood, and their parents. Learn more about them. Then move on to the future. What do they want most? How do they perceive the future? What worries them?
• Discuss Someone Else's Situation - This is often the easiest and most logical approach. Chances are that you or your parents know someone who is already dealing with some aspect of aging or long-term care. Talking about what's good or bad about their situation can be a useful launching point.
• Ask for Advice - This is a great way to get the discussion rolling. Tell them that you just met with a financial advisor and that you're preparing for the future. Then ask them for advice. Follow that by asking how they've planned ahead.
• Grab an Opening - If your mother is talking about Aunt Kathy, who's in an assisted living facility, and rolls her eyes and says, "Don't ever put me in one of those places," ask her what she means. What would your mother want in the same circumstances.

Caring for a Family Member: Part 2

In my last blog, I mentioned a couple of facts that should be considered before offering to be the caregiver for a family member. In addition to the time commitment and adverse effects on your own health, you should also consider how you would truthfully answer these questions:

• Will I be able to help him/her transfer in and out of bed? On and of the toilet?
• Will I be able to roll him/her over in bed to change clothing and bedding?
• Will I be able to help him/her bathe or shower?
• Will I be able to get him/her dressed?
• Will I feel comfortable providing personal care and hygiene for him/her?

These questions need to be answered for both your physical ability to provide care for a full-sized adult, and your emotional ability to provide intimate care to someone who was your sibling, parent, or grandparent.

Offering to Care for an Elderly Family Member is not a Decision to Take Lightly

Most family members who provide care never anticipated becoming caregivers. For those who did consider becoming caregivers, few accurately estimated the number of hours per week they would eventually devote to caregiving or the ultimate duration of the care.

In a survey called "The Juggling Act Study," The majority of participants estimated they would need to provide care from 6 months to 2 years. The actual length of time of family caregiving is 8 years!

Given the stress and time pressures they faced, it comes as no surprise that 3/4's of participants reported that caregiving had adversely affected their own health. More than 20%  experienced a significant decline in health and an increase in the number of visits to their own health care providers.

Will Long-Term Care Expenses Break Your Bank?

Will this be you in 20 or 30 years down the road? 

 It could be if you haven't taken the time to plan ahead for how you will pay for long-term care expenses. 

To get Chapter 9 of my book, "Is LTC Insurance Suitable for You?" email me at  info@superiorltc.com

with "Chapter 9" in the subject line.

Long-Term Care Insurance: What is the "Survivorship Benefit?"

If you are a couple in your 50's or early 60's and are considering LTC insurance, be sure to inquire about a "Survivorship Benefit." Some insurance carriers automatically include this benefit, while others offer it as a "rider" or extra benefit for additional premium. 

The Survivorship Benefit states that if a couple have coverage with the same company and one of them passes away after the policies have been in force for a certain number of years with no claims paid on either policy, the surviving insured's policy will be "paid up" - no further premium payments would be due.

The typical number of years that both policies must be in force and claim-free in order to benefit from this rider is 10. 

This benefit is especially a good value if one insured is significantly older than the other.

If you would like to learn more, email me at allen@superiorltc.com.