Part 1: Tips for Having the "Long-Term Care" Discussion with Your Parents

Fortunately, grown children and their parents are finally beginning to feel comfortable having the "long-term care conversation." How you enter this terrain will depend on the relationship you have with your parents.

You may not get far in your first conversation. It's a lot to digest, particularly if your parents have avoided this subject. Be patient. Find what works for you. If one approach doesn't work, try another. To get started, here are a few ways to break the ice:

• Be Open - If you have an open and direct relationship, don't beat around the bush. Just come out and tell them that you'd like to talk about their plan for paying for long-term care.
• Be Reflective - Ask them about their past, their childhood, and their parents. Learn more about them. Then move on to the future. What do they want most? How do they perceive the future? What worries them?
• Discuss Someone Else's Situation - This is often the easiest and most logical approach. Chances are that you or your parents know someone who is already dealing with some aspect of aging or long-term care. Talking about what's good or bad about their situation can be a useful launching point.
• Ask for Advice - This is a great way to get the discussion rolling. Tell them that you just met with a financial advisor and that you're preparing for the future. Then ask them for advice. Follow that by asking how they've planned ahead.
• Grab an Opening - If your mother is talking about Aunt Kathy, who's in an assisted living facility, and rolls her eyes and says, "Don't ever put me in one of those places," ask her what she means. What would your mother want in the same circumstances.